Mascara
by kawaii hime-sama
Summary: Yuuki's going for a night-out, and as all girls do, she's getting her make-up perfect, but is there a price to pay for 'beauty? Can she stop this downward spiral towards her forever unattainable goal?


**Title: **Mascara

**Word Count: **534

**Author: **kawaii hime-sama

**Date: **9th Jaunary 2012 at 0:33AM, then finished after a few hours of sleep at 7AM

**Warnings:** there are mentions of self-harm and an eating disorder, it ain't all bubble-gum and glitter in my mind, lol

**-DISCLAIMER- **I don't own Vampire Knight, Matsuri Hino does. If I owned Vampire Knight, this wouldn't be a **fan**fiction, now would it?

-I also don't own G.E.M. Tang's "Mascara" that my awesome twinnie recommended to me~

* * *

><p><em>"There we go"<em> a layer of foundation applied, no more embarrassment will be visible to strangers' eyes now.

But a dash of blusher in order to avoid peoples' pity for looking sickly.

A smudge of eyeshadow and careful lines drawn with an eyeliner pencil and a perfected hand - you were a master of this by now - to detract attention from your eyes, they only see the bright colours, never the emotion, you're safe now.

A flick of the mascara wand, "you look just like a doll" they'll say.

A lick of lipstick, hiding all evidence of nervousness; they can't see where you've bitten your lips on countless occasions now.

A quick coat of nail varnish to hide your obsession with thinking of your meals, but never actually eating them.

Now's time for your dress, a high neckline - you can't show off what you don't have - it hugs tightly to your tiny waist, then kicks out at the skirt to make your legs seem slimmer, though "not slim enough" you think. It's a brilliant white, denying any wrongdoing you may have been part of to ease your pain, at least for one night at a time. You specially chose this dress for tonight, to show off your figure that you've painstakingly created, not a flaw can be seen; they've all been covered up - it's not cold but you could use a jacket to cover those arms of yours, or maybe a few hundred bracelets.

And your shoes - high-heeled things that cover your feet properly, not sandals. Your feet look as bad as they feel after those long weeks of tortuous 'exercise'.

Throughout the night your mask is complete, no-one suspects a thing. To them you're just another pretty girl, happy and having the time of her life.

Until...

Until your mind wanders and old memories start to play _"why did they leave me?"_ _"I thought he loved me, that he'd protect me"_ _"was it my fault?"_

And one by one your tears fall, unbeknownst to you.

"Are you okay?" One person asks you.

You don't answer, you can't, words are trapped in your throat, stuck, and they can't be released.

You rush to the bathroom, luckily no-one is there.

Looking in the mirror you expect to see a sad girl, but you are shocked to see a girl whose life has fallen apart.

There, trailing down your face was two black lines, spidering off until they dripped onto your white dress, making dark, ugly stains, as they flowered out into disfigured blossoms.

You were a mess.

Your mask was perfect, but mascara never lies; you can't hide your emotions forever.

You've two options now, either fix your mask, your personal shield to keep everyone out of your business, or leave here bare-faced, vulnerable to staring eyes and pity, both real and fake, from those around you. Make you choice now, they'll be looking for you soon, you've been in here for a while.

In the end, you disappointed me, Yuuki, I thought you were stronger than this.

"But I'm not, and I need help."

You've started your way back to normality... I guess I should leave.

* * *

><p>-khs<p>

Well, that was different from my usual, ne~

Anyways, I'm sure some of you are confused now (so am I, lol)

The "I" in the story is Yuuki's sub-conscious, making her feel worthless.

It's amazing to think that this all spanned from G.E.M. Tang's song "Mascara", my mind is so twisted! ^n^

It's great to be back to writing, though I'm not sure how 'frequent' my stories will be... This was just a spurof the moment thing, lol

Well, Happy New Year! And I hope to be back here on a long-term basis! ^_^


End file.
